How Far Is Too Far When Courting or Dating?

I recently went to a Christian Single's Roundup and some questions about dating, sex and courting came up.

One question came up that had me thinking, not about my salvation but about the person who asked this question.
The question was, "If you're involved with someone, how far is too far in the relationship". Is kissing, holding hands, touching etc... too far.

As Christians, we should know that we should not put ourselves in a situation to allow temptation. The devil is very busy to act upon unguarded moments.

But I would like your opinions on this question.

Tags: single's roundup

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by King James on June 16, 2009 at 12:36pm: too far?

depends on what you don't wanna do. if you don't wanna have sex.. then sex is too far. Or getting to a place where u gonna not turn back is too far. i htink it just depends on the person.

not put myself in the situation may mean don't go out with women. folks are attracted to each other on the streeet AD inside the church...

with all due respect... but if it was a round-up and probably allowed for 'real questions'.. i think your response isn't that good/relevant/ applicable. Folks want to hear some things they can apply and not just 'stay strong in the Lord' answers. at least that's how it is with the crew I've run with. we can fake it on sunday morning.. for now.. tell me what to do when i've been sexing with my girlfriend and we both want to change, both love each other, but keep doing it. telling me to 'pray'.. is good, but i need something practical also.

feel me?

great topic; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Testament of 1 Peter 3 on June 16, 2009 at 12:40pm: I think that people have to keep in mind who they want to serve. The standard that God sets will keep you from "going too far". I think too far is anything that will cause you to sin (trangeress against God's Law). We are supposed to live our lives as if Jesus is in the very room with us....which if we live for Him then He is anyway.

The devil cannot tempt us with what is not already a desire of ours. That is why the flesh is supposed to die daily.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by King James on June 16, 2009 at 12:52pm: oh... u must be the only one i know getting it right homie :-); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by GodsRoyalDiva~Charmonique on June 16, 2009 at 3:03pm: What a great topic for discussion. How far you go depends on where you are in your relationship with God. Also will depend on you, do you get convicted when you do things not of God, or do you use your grace card and say God knows my heart and I will be forgiven. The real truth is the only way to control the flesh is too stay in prayer. I worked for awhile in a club before I gave my life to Christ. I stayed there until I was convicted by the Holy Spirit at that time God opened a door for me to get a better job in a different area. I enjoyed the atmosphere off the club the drinking the men the atmosphere. At the same time I was falling in love with Jesus the deeper I fell for him the less I enjoyed going to work at night. I had a live-in boyfriend finally one day I told him I was living, I was so in love with Jesus that it bothered me if I did something that would hurt him or offended him.
So to answer the question how far is too far, is s personal answer too far is different for everyone. We can’t all draw the line at the same place. I love a dark chocolate man but for me a kiss of passion may cause me to go too far. Once my imagination starts going and I get visualize I know it is time to wheel it in. once you see something it is hard to get it out of your mind. That is why we are to cast down our imaginations Come on think about it you was not thinking about going to get a burger until you SAW on TV!. I don t think (not often) about being physically intimate with someone until I see a glimpse or a taste (a kiss on the forehead, a stroke on the back of my neck etc.) Come on keep it real! King yeah you and your girl have been intimate and you both enjoy it, now you have to decide what you want more for future. You can get married or keep doing what you do that is between you and God. Like Paul daily we have to kill our flesh. There isn’t enough laying of the hands to kill the flesh. You must make it up in your mind; hide it in your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says above all else guard your heart. Colossians, 3:2 set your mind above not on earthly things ,and lastly James 1:14-15. Here he talks about trying to make excuse for their sin.
You have to know and set your boundaries don’t compromise for the sake of others or your flesh.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Testament of 1 Peter 3 on June 17, 2009 at 11:08am: Romans 3:23 says for "All have sinnED and fallen short of the glory of God". Notice the ED on the end of sinned. When I have fell short I get up and I repent (repent means to turn away from) and move forward. I wake up everyday with my mind made up to live in complete obedience to God. For me and my household there is no other way. That's simply it.

The Bible says it's better to marry than to burn. The problem comes in when you know that what you are doing is wrong in God's eyesight....that's the issue at hand. I have been where you are, but I had to make up my mind what was more important......My flesh on this Earth or my Spirit for Eternity......? When my eyes were truly open to me having pre-marital sex that if God came back at that moment I was in the middle of committing that sin...I would not be going to heaven.....that was a wake up call...

You spoke of needing something practical....if God is not practical enough for you Brother.....I do not know what is.

Continue to read and study your word......surround yourself with those people who live a life in onbedience to God....Be Blessed.
This is a great topic.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Tammy on June 16, 2009 at 10:38pm: I agree.

But, can't we change way we think about this? Instead of saying, "How far is too far?", ask, "How far can I go to make this relationship honor God and honor the other person?" This will really change your perspective and likely your behavior, too.

When it comes to temptation, who will win--- the flesh or the spirit? The one you feed the most will win.
--this is a favorite statement on my First Lady...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Corine Lopez on July 1, 2009 at 12:58pm: Thank you Tammy.... I appreciate your comment and as you said, the statement should reflect on honoring God and not ourselves.

Thank You and God Bless.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by King James on July 23, 2009 at 8:40am: good way to see it Tammy; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Beverley Fenton on September 24, 2009 at 8:20pm: Tammy, I really like your response as keeping our eyes on God is more likely to keep us from falling than keeping our eye on the imaginary line in the sand that we keep moving closer and closer to the temptation. While none of us are perfect, keeping our eyes on God is more likely to move us into a situation where our actions honor Him.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Corine Lopez on July 1, 2009 at 1:11pm: Thank you all for your comments and opinions. I appreciate it very much. It will not only help me but others as well who may be asking this question to themselves.

Testament 1 Peter:3 - I like your comment. Having a fear for God will remind us of where we want to spend eternity.

Charmonique - Thank you for reminding us that we do not need to compromise with sin. I appreciate that phrase very much.

King James - The roundup did allow real questions that people is fighting with each day. You stated that you need something practical. Well my pastor told us a couple of weeks ago that we all are just trying so hard to live "Holy" and please God. But he said that if we just live "righteousness" and try to walk right with God we wouldn't be struggling so much.

To tell you the truth, I'm trying my best to live righteousness and the enemy is still putting barricades in my way.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by King James on July 23, 2009 at 8:41am: What's the difference ?... @ what ur pastor said; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Jnes on September 17, 2009 at 5:02pm: As men and women of God we can't place ourselves in compromising positions, the word lets us know its not about how strong you are but being wisdom. So you need to know you're weaknesses and whatever it may be don't cross those lines. For example if you're at you're boyfriend or girlfriend house late at night by yourself. Something is more likely to happen because you are placing yourself in a compromising position. As well as that remember that it only take a spark to start a fire.

God bless
Be strong in the faith; ▶ Reply to This