Get her Number in Church? Um.. I'll Pass!

I was reading a speed dating comment and got some thoughts

I’d rather approach a lady in the street, than one in the church. I just think about me not being where she is in her walk.. and she not where I am. So if I still listen to rap music, last thing I’m tryna do is get her off her Lord game, u know?

And it could happen out in the street too, but you know environment is different.

Then it’s like, “Am I gonna seem like a church jigola if I tell her she’s beautiful and ask for her number?” Surely not tryna come off that way.

And I think most of all, b/c of the environment of church, we don’t always ‘keep it real.’ So I don’t want a woman acting a certain way when we’re talking just b/c she met me within the holy walls,… cuz I prolly won’t be much different than the ME I am on the outside… aside from respecting her if she doesn’t want to be exposed to certain things.

I did get a lady’s # in church a few years back, but she was visiting and I was too. And we never met up, just talked a few times. I think she had dealt with some crazies and so she was too reserved to even talk about herself.

What are yall’s thoughts?

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Comment by Tammy on June 9, 2009 at 10:33pm: I see where you are coming from. Now, I am very traditional and will not really approach a guy like that because I think it is better to let the guy pursue. But, I would actually be nervous within the church. A very BIG part of it is the walk. I am very serious about where I am and I won't compromise that. Unless a guy was always asking for numbers I wouldn't think he was a "church jigola", though...no matter how much the term amuses me! :-D

Now, I did actually date within my church once and it actually was a disaster. I even sought what I thought was godly counsel regarding the relationship (mentors/leaders within the church) and got the "go ahead". I tried to be accountable and everything, but when things fell apart, those leaders basically turned their backs on me. Bottom line is, it is hard to date within one's own church because there are too many eyes and opinions. Don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in accountability, but not every leader in the church with an opinion is good to be accountable to, you know?

So, just curious, what do you propose is the solution to the discomfort of dating within your own church? Do we singles resort to online dating, join singles groups in other churches, just take our chances approaching people on the street? This could be an interesting discussion...

Also, I had someone in the church tell me that doing online dating services shows a lack of trust in God. Curious what you all have to say about that, too....